Reflecting on dropping out (1 year later)

📖 Note: This post is from the archives. It may reflect outdated views or a previous name.

Over a year ago, I dropped out of high school to jump headfirst into a life without formal education. I want to share my perspective now, after a year of being in the field. I have learned more in the last year (plus) than I ever could have in a classroom setting.

I’m asked “Why did you leave school?” on a regular basis. It’s been such a common question that someone asks me at least once or twice a week. My answer? I love learning. That may sound like an odd explanation for why I left school, but the simple truth is that high school was holding me back. More specifically, I was on a completely different planet from my peers. I was tired of being surrounded by teenagers who only wanted to get high. I was tired of my school pushing me into courses that would actively get in my way of pursuing a degree. I was tired of applying for AP courses just to hear back that they were either too full or too empty (and cancelled).

I craved freedom. I needed an education that only experiences in the real world could provide. I needed to explore life in my own unconventional way in to truly find who I am and to get the most out of my young years. I put myself on a self-corrected path that would enable me to learn what life actually needed me to know. Not what the school board thought I needed twenty years ago.

Though I don’t agree with everything Alex Kern said. He made a great point about the problems in society regarding expectations in education.

A college education makes you more likely to get the job of your dreams. This is definitely true for most professions but was never enough to keep me motivated. The reward was too nebulous. Many successful people have college degrees. This smelled of a dubious causal claim. And besides, “checking boxes” doesn’t make me happy. A degree gives you a safety net to fall back on. This didn’t strike a chord with me because I don’t want to spend the better part of my youth constructing a safeguard. I want to do something I love — now.

People love to criticize me for leaving school, but I knew I just needed to get out of there.

I immediately started looking for work when I dropped out. After a few weeks on the hunt, I landed a job as a junior UX designer at a small dev shop in Vancouver. It wasn’t great, but it was my first professional experience in the industry. I learned a lot and after a few months, I realized that I enjoyed writing code way more than being a designer.

I left the company to start working as a junior iOS developer at a product startup in Oakridge. My first few days were great, but it quickly unraveled as I saw how badly the CEO treated his team. The entire culture was built off of the sweatshop mentality. We would work from 9am to 8pm (and sometimes even later) with minimum to no breaks. I was constantly put down because my occasional question was a bother to their workflow. I was told that I was being “paid to code and not to learn.” I realized I was losing so much sleep over something so ridiculous that I ended up resigning after 31 days. Even though this environment was not conducive to learning, I still learned a lot about how not to run a team.

I took a few weeks to recharge and prepare myself for another job search. The job market felt like an impenetrable wall. I felt like I was playing in a game of keep away. Everyone told me to “Get a job to gain experience,” but everywhere I applied to said “You need more experience to get a job.” A lot of companies showed a genuine interest in me, but between my age, education status and lack of professional experience—I was too risky.

I decided it was time to make it my own responsibility to gain experience. I started to attend more hackathons and contribute to more open source projects. I ended up starting a consultancy with my best friend. Most of our clients didn’t care about my educational background. Knowing how to hustle and get shit done was the key to success. We started out with small design projects and worked our way up to accepting larger iOS (and web) projects. I did this full-time for an entire year. We contributed to nine apps and shipped two full-fledged apps.

I’m a mix between meticulous and spontaneous.

I am a fiercely independent person and dropping out of school enabled me to get away from the pointless stress that school caused. This newfound freedom allowed me to spend more time exploring the world I live in and who I am, as a person.

I spent most of 2015 outside of Canada. I constantly put myself into situations that required calm and quick thinking. I learn by doing and through fucking up, I got better. I learned how to coordinate people and deescalate situations. By the end of the year, I had visited San Francisco, New York City, Ann Arbor, Bonita Springs, Miami, Manchester, London, Berlin and Paris. These adventures showed me the need for real-life learning experiences.

I travelled alone for the most part, which introduced an interesting dynamic. Especially in cities where English was not widely spoken. I got more out of speaking French in Paris than I ever could have during my five years in French class. Rather than making learning a tedious task I was forced to complete, I genuinely wanted to learn. I wanted to speak French with the locals, receive feedback and improve in any way I could while I was there. I got so much out of my week in Paris. I tried to avoid speaking English and learned more French as I needed it while practicing in the real world.

Besides travelling, my freedom also enabled me to find my true self. Throughout my entire life, starting at a young age—I felt out of place. I have always known there was something wrong but I could never figure out what exactly was bothering me. When I moved out of my parent’s house in 2014—their influence over who I was started to fade. In time, this release of pressure allowed me to see myself for who I really am. It took almost two years, but I started to remember various suppressed childhood memories. These memories helped provide a lot of context into why I was so uncomfortable.

On January 1st, 2016, I came out to everyone as a trans woman. I can’t help but wonder how much longer it would’ve taken me to find my true self if I didn’t take this year to explore life. I never thought I would be where I am today, but I can truly say I’m happier than I have ever been.